A Place for Us

Often times we feel like our path is already carved out for us. We feel that we have to take this path in order to "fit" in with our family or because it's the "right" choice. Sometimes people feel to take this path in order to not disappoint or hurt their family. They have sort of an internal battle while trying to find the balance between living up to their parent's expectations but also being who they are.

In the novel, A Place for Us, a family-oriented dynamic is presented. As first-generation immigrants, Layla and Rafiq work hard to stabilize and create a warm home for their children. Their daughters Hadia and Huda obediently follow the family's traditions and make a sincere effort to learn all of the cultural aspects of their religion. In the novel, the phrase "...for..." is often repeated to show that the family values respect and each one thinks of the impact of their actions before contemplating to do what they want. Layla and Rafiq's son however, doesn't quite fit in with the family dynamic. Despite his sincere effort and desire to fit in, he doesn't feel like he belongs. He often questions their culture and traditions but often finds himself guilty for doing so because he knows his sisters would never do such a thing. He is also often found ditching prayers at the mosque the family attends weekly. While reading, I came across a quote that I included on my note page that Amar uses to justify his decision to leave home: "I have never felt at home here". When Amar makes this statement, he feels helpless and thinks that he is unable to change to please his parents and that he can't keep watching them get hurt. He has lost himself to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol and wonders what effect his sins will have on him. 

The novel opens up with the scene of the oldest daughter, Hadia at her wedding. She has decided to invite Amar to the wedding despite the family's estrangement from him. The novel then flashes back to various parts of Hadia and Amar's life that attempts to explain the events leading up to present day. While reading, I was trying to figure out why the author made this stylistic choice to write the novel in a nonlinear manner. In my note page, I wrote that I think this style shows the unpredictability of the events described in the story. Layla often wonders why Amar turned out to be the way he is despite her loving and caring nature toward him in childhood. She never anticipated that he would diverge from the family tradition so much. I also think that the nonlinear sequence of events serves as a reflection for the family to contemplate on exactly where things took a turn for Amar. Even though Amar was always a bit rebellious, he was innocent and always tried to follow his family's culture and tradition. So, it is hard to see at which point in his life, Amar decided to give this all up probably because he felt that it was unbearable to keep pretending to be someone who he is not. The novel follows Amar's place for him.